Footnote: Please write to Will and Guy if you have any funny computer on-liners. See more short computer jokes, clean videos and funny pictures. Short computer jokes. Windows 8 jokes. Idiot. Funny computing career. Computer gender. Funny computer jokes. Windows 7 jokes. Funny computer virus. Windows. Computer. Put this one in your pocket and pull it out when your kids need to roll their eyes again! If you need more dad-based wit, check out the guaranteed LOLs (lots of lame!) in these 26 bad dad jokes.
A good one-liner can serve so many purposes I don't even know where to begin. Firstly, being able to recall and drop a one-liner in an instant is the sign of a healthy functioning brain. It also shows that you're able to process contextual information in real-time and add to the conversation, so dropping one-liners is also indicative of being a great conversationalist.
These are the best one-liners ever spoken, passed down through the generations from father to son, and they're just as funny now as they've ever been. My advice to you is to bookmark this article right now, read through all of the one-liners below, then come back later and make some flashcards of these later so you can actually commit these to memory. Now let's get to the best one-liners, shall we?
eyeags:
I used to think that a vasectomy prevented you from having a kid- Turns out it just changes the color.
Oatmeal_84:
My Grandpa once told me, 'If you're not in bed by 10 PM, you might as well go home.'
…If you didn't understand this one it implies this: if you aren't getting laid by 10pm it's probably time to give up and go home…
Tourstours:
Here's to the only B word you should ever call a woman: 'Beautiful.' Because bitches love it when you call them beautiful.
pappajay2001:
This is my stepladder… I never knew my real ladder.
thurask:
When you say 'poop', your mouth makes the same motion as your asshole. The same is true for 'explosive diarrhea'.
-iamverysmart-:
Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
naomicat:
Not only is my thesaurus terrible, it's also terrible!
taylor4570L
You can say what you want about deaf people too. Dwarfs too. Everything you say goes straight over their heads. Blind prostitutes is where I draw the line, you gotta hand it to them.
as_told_by_aaron:
My grandfather demented at 60 and started lathering himself in butter… He went downhill pretty fast after that
Slots 777 craze free coins. My own favorite has been one that I learned from my grandfather, and I've always loved it because 1) it helps me defend my drinking and 2) it just rolls off the tongue:
'I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.'
AlmanzoWilder:
'Remains to be seen if glass coffins become popular.'
TWGOK:
There's no I in denial
TheOneWhoSnipes:
I asked my North Korean friend how it was over there, he said he couldn't complain.
Lv_99RatBoss:
Rice is good if you're hungry and want 2000 of something.
I ordered a club sandwich and im not even a member, I dont know how I keep getting away with it. (R.I.P, Mitch Hedberg)
Nosleep2:
'Escalators are never broken. They are just temporarily stairs'
Hoodafakizit:
The guy who invented autocorrect has died… restaurant in piece
opallesce28:
I love my UPS guy because he's a drug dealer and doesn't know it.
News_of_Entwives:
The shovel really was a groundbreaking invention.
eraser_dust:
'Letting go of a loved one can be hard, but sometimes, it's the only way to survive a rock climbing catastrophe.'
DukeMcGoober:
Then God said unto John: 'Come forth and receive eternal life.' But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Chi-lan-tro:
I for one, love Roman numerals!
newsworldindia12:
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
boom2112:
I have an inferiority complex but it's not a very good one.
popcar2:
The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
TEHJUGGERKNAUT:
Shout out to deaf people!
And last but not least…
lelastofus:
Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.
If you want to keep reading more one-liners you can follow any of those links above. And as I always do I invite you bros to send us your best one-liners by hitting up the Facebook comments and/or the comments down below!
Changing gears a little bit, I want to make sure that ALL OF YOU know about the all new BroBible iOS app that was launched last week. It's 100% free to download and it's the latest/greatest way to get all of your BroBible content, so DOWNLOAD IT FOR FREE BY CLICKING HERE!
Following on from our recent posts about the fun of having a crack at winning big playing casino games, bingo and poker online we have a few classic one liners for you. They cover all topics such as poker, slots and other casino games like blackjack.
To complement this blog post here is a cheesy stock image of the topic :p We hope you like it.
Read on below for the goodies.
Short Casino Jokes
What is the difference between praying in a church and praying in a casino? In a casino, you really do mean it.
How do you get a sweet little old lady to shout the word f**k? Get another sweet little old lady to yell the word bingo!
Footnote: Please write to Will and Guy if you have any funny computer on-liners. See more short computer jokes, clean videos and funny pictures. Short computer jokes. Windows 8 jokes. Idiot. Funny computing career. Computer gender. Funny computer jokes. Windows 7 jokes. Funny computer virus. Windows. Computer. Put this one in your pocket and pull it out when your kids need to roll their eyes again! If you need more dad-based wit, check out the guaranteed LOLs (lots of lame!) in these 26 bad dad jokes.
A good one-liner can serve so many purposes I don't even know where to begin. Firstly, being able to recall and drop a one-liner in an instant is the sign of a healthy functioning brain. It also shows that you're able to process contextual information in real-time and add to the conversation, so dropping one-liners is also indicative of being a great conversationalist.
These are the best one-liners ever spoken, passed down through the generations from father to son, and they're just as funny now as they've ever been. My advice to you is to bookmark this article right now, read through all of the one-liners below, then come back later and make some flashcards of these later so you can actually commit these to memory. Now let's get to the best one-liners, shall we?
eyeags:
I used to think that a vasectomy prevented you from having a kid- Turns out it just changes the color.
Oatmeal_84:
My Grandpa once told me, 'If you're not in bed by 10 PM, you might as well go home.'
…If you didn't understand this one it implies this: if you aren't getting laid by 10pm it's probably time to give up and go home…
Tourstours:
Here's to the only B word you should ever call a woman: 'Beautiful.' Because bitches love it when you call them beautiful.
pappajay2001:
This is my stepladder… I never knew my real ladder.
thurask:
When you say 'poop', your mouth makes the same motion as your asshole. The same is true for 'explosive diarrhea'.
-iamverysmart-:
Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
naomicat:
Not only is my thesaurus terrible, it's also terrible!
taylor4570L
You can say what you want about deaf people too. Dwarfs too. Everything you say goes straight over their heads. Blind prostitutes is where I draw the line, you gotta hand it to them.
as_told_by_aaron:
My grandfather demented at 60 and started lathering himself in butter… He went downhill pretty fast after that
Slots 777 craze free coins. My own favorite has been one that I learned from my grandfather, and I've always loved it because 1) it helps me defend my drinking and 2) it just rolls off the tongue:
'I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.'
AlmanzoWilder:
'Remains to be seen if glass coffins become popular.'
TWGOK:
There's no I in denial
TheOneWhoSnipes:
I asked my North Korean friend how it was over there, he said he couldn't complain.
Lv_99RatBoss:
Rice is good if you're hungry and want 2000 of something.
I ordered a club sandwich and im not even a member, I dont know how I keep getting away with it. (R.I.P, Mitch Hedberg)
Nosleep2:
'Escalators are never broken. They are just temporarily stairs'
Hoodafakizit:
The guy who invented autocorrect has died… restaurant in piece
opallesce28:
I love my UPS guy because he's a drug dealer and doesn't know it.
News_of_Entwives:
The shovel really was a groundbreaking invention.
eraser_dust:
'Letting go of a loved one can be hard, but sometimes, it's the only way to survive a rock climbing catastrophe.'
DukeMcGoober:
Then God said unto John: 'Come forth and receive eternal life.' But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Chi-lan-tro:
I for one, love Roman numerals!
newsworldindia12:
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
boom2112:
I have an inferiority complex but it's not a very good one.
popcar2:
The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
TEHJUGGERKNAUT:
Shout out to deaf people!
And last but not least…
lelastofus:
Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.
If you want to keep reading more one-liners you can follow any of those links above. And as I always do I invite you bros to send us your best one-liners by hitting up the Facebook comments and/or the comments down below!
Changing gears a little bit, I want to make sure that ALL OF YOU know about the all new BroBible iOS app that was launched last week. It's 100% free to download and it's the latest/greatest way to get all of your BroBible content, so DOWNLOAD IT FOR FREE BY CLICKING HERE!
Following on from our recent posts about the fun of having a crack at winning big playing casino games, bingo and poker online we have a few classic one liners for you. They cover all topics such as poker, slots and other casino games like blackjack.
To complement this blog post here is a cheesy stock image of the topic :p We hope you like it.
Read on below for the goodies.
Short Casino Jokes
What is the difference between praying in a church and praying in a casino? In a casino, you really do mean it.
How do you get a sweet little old lady to shout the word f**k? Get another sweet little old lady to yell the word bingo!
Why don't they allow gambling in the Africa continent? Because of all the cheetahs.
How is a casino like a woman? Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
Where's the only place in the world you are guaranteed to get screwed? Vegas baby!
What is the difference between a professional poker player and a dog? In about 10 years, the dog will quit whining.
Funny Gambling One Liners Free
What do you call a girl who is always in the bookies? Betty!
I walked around the casino last night with a pocket full of chips. Even now I am still trying to get the smell of vinegar out of my trousers.
Funny Gambling One Liners Jokes
How do you leave Vegas with 1 millions dollars? Go there with 2 millions.
Funny Gambling One Liners Near Me
Thanks.
Credit for the image at the top of the post goes to SXC.hu and sgman. Used under royalty free license.